Leonardo DiCaprio is arguably one of the best actors to never win an Oscar. He has turned in some really amazing performances over the past twenty years. Although, I am always left feeling rather sad at the end of a Dicaprio film. He just seems to choose roles that leave his characters with the short end of the stick. On the eve of film number two hundred and forty-six, Blood Diamond, I have compiled a list of some of Leo's most unfortunate fates. Warning, there are spoilers.
Growing Pains (1992-TV) : Gets adopted by the Seaver family and has to be brothers with Kirk Cameron. Horrible.
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993): After forgiving his brother for the face slapping of a lifetime, discovers his mother dead in her bed.
The Quick and the Dead (1995): Film death number one at the hands of Gene Hackman and a pistol.
Total Eclipse (1995): Has leg amputated due to cancer. Cancer spreads to the rest of his body and he dies.
Romeo + Juliet (1996): The biggest "non-delivered message" in literary and theater history. Leo drinks the poison just as his bride awakens from her long sleep. Death number three.
Titanic (1997): Who can forget Leo's frozen body sinking in the ocean. I guess "I'll never let go Jack" meant about three hours after you die. Death number four.
The Man in the Iron Mask (1998): Sent to a dungeon for eternity wearing an iron mask.
The Beach (1999): Okay, so he BARELY makes it out of this one alive, well done Leo! Wait a second, he has to have sex with Tilda Swinton. Not death, but I am sure he wanted to die.
Catch Me If You Can (2002): Married. Ugh. Three sons. Awful. MIDWEST! This could be the worst fate of all.
The Aviator (2004): Not dead, but eighty-nine percent insane.
The Departed (2005): My favorite Leo death. You think he makes it... then BAM! An elevator door opening has never been so eventful. Death number five.
Blood Diamond (2006): An elegant side of the cliff, Oscar nominated, sunset death. Death number six.
Revolutionary Road (2008): Leo's most depressing ending. His wife dies giving herself an abortion after a huge fight.
Shutter Island (2009): judging from the trailers, I have the odds at 2:1 on his eventual demise.
Ha ha! Love it.
ReplyDelete